Sleeping with the Enemy: Breaking Free from Cycles of Hurt

There’s a statement I once heard: A cheater is a cheater and will always be a cheater if they're doing something to intentionally hurt you. Those words resonate deeply because they speak to a painful reality—many of us, men and women alike, find ourselves returning to the very place or person that wounded us. We attempt to heal in the same environment that broke us, but what happens when the person who hurt us continues to do so?

The truth is, when someone is intentionally harming you, they are making a choice—a choice that disregards your well-being, your peace, and your love. Yet, so often, we stay. We rationalize their actions, believing that if we just love them more, if we just forgive them again, they will change. But the question is, do they want to change? Or are they simply comfortable knowing you will always return?

A cheater is a cheater—it doesn’t matter how much love you have in your heart for someone if it doesn’t stop them from intentionally hurting you. Forgiveness is powerful. It is necessary. But forgiveness does not require reconciliation. You can release the hurt, let go of the bitterness, and still choose to walk away. Forgiving someone does not mean inviting them back into your life to continue their cycle of destruction. It simply means you refuse to carry the weight of their actions any longer.

Healing requires distance. It requires removing yourself from the toxic environment so that you can truly see things clearly. Sleeping with the enemy—whether literally or figuratively—only prolongs the pain. True healing happens when you recognize your worth and refuse to settle for anything less than genuine love, respect, and loyalty.

So, ask yourself: Do I really want to be with someone who intentionally hurts me? If the answer is no, then it’s time to break free. Love should not be a battlefield where you constantly fight to be valued. Walk away with your dignity intact and step into the peace that awaits you on the other side.